The Chain
by Last.one.02
Summary: "If you don't love me now, you will never love me again." Elliot and Kathy decide to end their marriage. He ends up behind Olivia's door afterwards. Set in season 6, canon compliant (somewhat). Some platonic EO, no character bashing, Kathy friendly. One-shot.


„Elliot, we need to talk."

Those words rang through the dimly lit kitchen at dead midnight hour, when the rest of the house was deep asleep apart from the detective and his wife in the kitchen. Elliot was sitting behind kitchen counter and having his midnight snack sandwich with cheese and ham. His dark brown tie was loosely around his neck and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. His eyes were only partially open, his mind was even less awake. But those words managed to wake every cell in his body and make him think about all the things he'd done recently, that might've upset Kathy.

"About what, Kathy?" Elliot asked.

Kathy appeared from the doorway. She looked tired, but gorgeous in her thin white nightie and loose ponytail. She yawned and padded quietly into the room, took a seat opposite of Elliot. She was serious, her facial expression said, that she meant business.

"About us," Kathy said.

Elliot set his jaw, swallowed the sandwich he was biting and tried to prepare himself for the conversation about to happen in just a few seconds. He didn't want to have it; he did his best to ignore all the signs and subconsciously even ignored his wife to avoid or postpone talking about their marriage. He knew it was coming, it was bound to happen.

"What about us?" Elliot asked dumbly.

Kathy tilted her head and gave Elliot a look, that was answer enough. They needed to talk about the current status of their marriage – the distance, the fights, the fact that they hadn't been intimate in months.

"Do you want me out?" Elliot cut through the chase instead of dancing around the subject or forcing Kathy into saying that.

Kathy took a deep intake of breath and nodded. "I think we need some time apart to figure things out," she said.

Elliot nodded, but he didn't agree with her. "Why now?" he asked, he bit his sandwich.

Kathy shrugged her shoulders. "I guess it's been a long time coming," she admitted. "And don't pretend that you didn't expect it, I know you've been avoiding me." Kathy called Elliot out, but he didn't expect anything less from her.

"I've been working," he gave her an excuse. It was the truth, but they both knew that if he'd really wanted, he could've tried to come home at normal time, let someone else take care of some hunch or at least call, when he's gonna be home later.

"With Olivia," Kathy said with venom. She didn't dislike Olivia as a person, she hated the idea of her, the idea that her husband worked close quarters with another attractive woman and for all Kathy knew, Olivia could've been attracted to Elliot or the other way around. She disliked the idea, that Elliot had another woman in his life, who knew parts of him, Kathy would never discover.

"She's my partner, Kathy," Elliot reminded her, it's not like he could go to Cragen and request a new partner, because his wife is jealous. After all it's not something Olivia did, it's just who she is.

"I bet you call her more often than you call me," Kathy said. She crossed her arms; she was getting herself worked up.

"Kathy, don't go there," Elliot said.

Kathy agreed non-verbally and realized, that Olivia should not be part of their conversation – she isn't part of their marriage.

"Tell me this," Kathy said, then stopped and caught Elliot's eyes, he could tell that she was about to ask something difficult, something she didn't want to do, but something she needed to know. "Do you love me?"

Elliot was taken back; he dropped the half-eaten sandwich to the counter and his mouth fell open. What kind of question was it? "Honestly, El. Do you still love me?" she repeated the question.

"Of course, I do," Elliot said the only thing he could.

"But are you in love with me?" Kathy asked painfully.

Elliot opened his mouth to say something – to say that he was madly in love with Kathy, but the words died on his tongue. His inability to say those words surprised himself, he didn't expect that. Kathy didn't seem half as surprised or terrified as he was.

"I know on some level we will always love each other, but we are no longer in love. Our relationship is broken," Kathy said, she confirmed that she felt the same way he did.

"We could try therapy," Elliot suggested, even though he despised the idea of seeing a shrink or discussing the details of his relationship with a stranger.

Kathy tilted her head and exhaled heavily. "I don't think it's gonna help. And I know you hate the idea of shrink. Maybe you should see someone, but we should not do that together. I don't think there's anything left to save in our marriage," she said.

Elliot seemed to have lost his ability to speak and no words left his mouth. He wanted to say something that would make her reconsider, but he couldn't find his words.

"Please don't make it harder than it already is," Kathy said as if she was reading his mind.

"I don't want to break up," Elliot said firmly.

Kathy reached over and put her palm against his cheek gently. She had pained, yet compassionate look on her face. "I know. I don't want it either, but I think it's the best thing to do," she said.

"Kathy..." he begged.

She moved her finger over his lips. "Shh. Sometimes I wish I'd never met you and I'd never gotten pregnant. I love our kids, but things could be so different. We were too young to know what love is and if it wasn't for Maureen, we'd never be here," Kathy expressed her thought. "I know you feel the same way," she added.

Elliot was quiet. She spoke the thoughts he tried not to have, the truth he tried not to admit. She spoke the words he wished he could speak, but he never did.

"Elliot, if you don't love me now, you'll never love me again," Kathy spoke heavily.

Elliot swallowed hard.

"But I know you'd never leave me, betray me or break your vows," Kathy said. She caressed his cheek. "So, I'm gonna have to."

Elliot didn't say anything.

"I know you meant well, I know you thought you did the right thing, but let me do the right thing now for both of us," Kathy said, a tear fell from her eyes. "It's time to break the silence."

Elliot nodded.

"I'll contact a lawyer, get divorce papers drawn up, so we can figure out technicalities," Kathy said.

"What about the kids?" Elliot asked.

"I'm not seeking sole custody, we'll be their parents together," Kathy said. Elliot felt like some weight was lifted from him – he was almost ready to go into battle for his kids. "I want this to be as painless as possible, specially for the kids," she added.

Elliot agreed. "How do you think they'll take it?" he asked.

Kathy shrugged her shoulders. "I think they've been expecting that for awhile now. They'll understand. We can tell them together, when you have a day off," Kathy said.

Elliot nodded. He'd be there, when they'll break the news.

The room fell silent again. Elliot picked up his sandwich and started eating again, while he digested the gigantic life change he was about to go through.

"Should I leave right now?" Elliot asked suddenly.

"I think it would be for the best," Kathy said.

Elliot nodded. "I have this Sunday off, we can tell the kids then," he said.

"We could have lunch together," Kathy proposed.

"I'd love that," Elliot said, but his face didn't share the excitement of his words.

Kathy agreed and promised to tell the kids in the morning.

Elliot looked around. "I need to pack a bag," he said suddenly, he still needed clean clothes for work, toothbrush and all the other essentials.

"Of course," Kathy said.

Elliot rushed past Kathy towards their bedroom. Kathy didn't follow him, she let everything sink in, she swallowed hard, she tried to stop them, but her tears kept falling from her eyes. No matter the circumstances, it was hard to end a relationship, 20-year marriage even more so.

Elliot appeared some 15 minutes later, he had a bag with his belongings over his shoulder. He approached Kathy, who was still sitting behind kitchen counter. "I'll get the rest of my belongings, after I've found an apartment and the kids know," he informed Kathy.

Kathy nodded, she wiped the tears from her face in hopes Elliot didn't see them, but of course he did. He didn't say anything though. Elliot approached her from behind and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I'm sorry Kathy," he whispered.

"I'm sorry too," she replied.

With that he walked out od the door, out of her life – out of their marriage. He cursed loudly, when he was outside of his home. He stood by his car for a bit. He saw the light being turned off from the kitchen and then from the bedroom. Elliot thought about going to the crib and sleeping there, but he didn't really want to go there. The other option was to go to some cheap motel, but it wasn't appealing either. That left Elliot with just one option.

He found himself in very familiar apartment building downtown Manhattan. He was behind a door he'd been frequently, more often in the past year and specially after he was either fighting or avoiding Kathy. It was 1 am, so he knocked gently on the door as if he didn't want to wake her, but he wanted her to appear at the door, kind of an oxymoron that was. He hoped she'd let him in.

He was slightly surprised, when the door opened. Olivia stood there in a pair of shorts and white tank top. Her short hair was ruffled from pillow, assumedly.

"Elliot," she said groggily.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head. "Not really," she said. She looked like she'd been in bed at least, but if she wasn't sleeping, then it must be because of… "Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have come," he said quickly. He kept forgetting that he wasn't the only man, who found her attractive and she was surely dating more that he was aware of. And it looked like he interrupted one of those dates. Yet, he didn't want to think about Olivia with other men, he forced those thoughts out of his mind.

"Oh, no. I'm alone," Olivia said quickly. "Someone called my landline a little while ago, probably some kids playing pranks – that woke me up," she explained.

"Oh, I really didn't want to wake you up," he said.

Olivia smirked. "So you wanted to let me sleep by knocking on my door at 1 am?" she asked sarcastically.

Elliot looked guilty, he fell silent. He tried to come up with some good excuse, but failed.

"What brings you here?" Olivia changed the topic and cut through the chase. She noticed the duffel bag he was carrying and she could only assume it was another fight with Kathy which ended with Elliot being kicked out.

"It's over," he said.

"What's over?" Olivia asked, she was still half-asleep and could not grasp the meaning behind his words.

"My marriage," Elliot clarified. "We'll tell the kids on Sunday. I'll get my things as soon as I'll find an apartment."

"I'm sorry, El," she said with compassion, he knew it was genuine.

They fell silent.

"I really didn't want to sleep in the crib and answer to guys in the morning. Some motel doesn't seem appealing either. I guess I didn't want to go to some unfamiliar place and that's why I'm here, hoping that you'd let me in and let me sleep on your couch," Elliot spoke.

Olivia moved forward and hugged Elliot, she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. Elliot hugged her back and held her tight against him, his hands on her back. It offered him much more comfort than he expected. She didn't say anything and anything Elliot was about to say died. The hug was warm and consoling.

She stepped away as suddenly as she had came into his embrace. She went back to into the apartment and opened the door for him. "Come in," she said softly. She held his eyes on hers, it was intense, the silent conversation they knew so well. Elliot stepped into the apartment.

Olivia closed the apartment door and locked it after them.

It felt comfortable. It was familiar. It felt right.

It felt like home.

The chain had been broken.

_And if you don't love me now  
You will never love me again  
I can still hear you saying  
You would never break the chain_

_Fleetwood Mac – The Chain_


End file.
